I was walking home from McDonalds after another great writing session, walking past my favorite salon, the one with the name I think looks like "A fetish taco." One of the employees was standing outside in a Santa costume. He beckoned me to come inside, pointing to a sign. The only Japanese I could read on the sign was the kanji for gold, which in this context almost certainly meant Friday. That, and a time, 14:00. It just so happened to be 14:00, and Friday. It seemed as though fate had brought me there for whatever they had in store.

They sat me down in a small group, as we waited for the show to start. The employees, they all wore clogs with super heels that made them two or three inches taller. Even the men. Then, just as suddenly as I picked up my iPod to type this message, it started. Fake snow came down in a flurry at the window which made up the backdrop to the makeshift stage they had setup in front of us. Then, the characters came into view. First a Santa claus figure that was so thin he could only be Japanese. Followed by a very cute looking Mrs. Claus. Behind that, a Rudolph and behind him, inexplicably, a grey alien. There were four people after
him, but I couldn't make out who they were before the entire precession and walk on, out of sight, no doubt coming around the building to enter. A minutes later, as they were walking to the front of the stage, the employees who remained indoors threw whipped cream pies at them. Or rather, not whipped cream but fake snow pies. I wasn't sure if it was fitting for the occasion or not.

Then I wasn't sure if the unidentified characters of the show were men or not. They wore bikinis with breasts, but as I looked closer I saw that they must have been men, because the bras were stuffed. Confusing their gender even more was that they had six pack abs penciled onto their chests. One of them pantyhose over his face. It's was an incredible sight to behold.

The group sang several classic Christmas songs, in Japanese. They passed out small bells to fasten to our hands while encouraging us to clap along. When it was all finished, they immediately started chanting Encore, obliging us, the audience to demand more. After another song, they passed out some free
goodies, candy mostly, but also a small bottle of body lotion. Then gave us a banner to hold and took a group photo of the audience.

For the finale, the man dressed as the grey alien did a mime routine before taking his mask off and revealing himself. I didn't recognize him. Finally, the guy wearing the pantyhose on his head put a long ribbon of elastic into the gray aliens mouth and stretched it out a good three meters across the room. Everybody counted down, three, two, one, and he released the elastic, smacking the gray alien in the mouth. Everyone laughed and applauded.

This event was recorded by the staff with a iPad. I fancy myself a creative person,
but there's no way to make this kind of stuff up. On my way out, I was handed an
autographed picture of the Santa character, who was probably the owner.