To illustrate what a crazy world we live in, my next post is about the cost of sushi.

I paid for sushi for three at a "kaiten" aka conveyor belt sushi restaurant, Kappa Sushi. It's not all you can eat, but I always stuff my face as though it were. In addition to being able to grab whatever you want off the belt, you can special order anything, and a small toy train rushes the plate to your table.

I went to town: tuna; shrimp; crab; corn; sukiyaki; fried shrimp. Oh my god, the fried shrimp is to die for, still hot when it gets to you! When was the last time you ordered something fried that came hot n fresh?

After about ten plates, I was stuffed. What did it cost? Two thousand yen, aka $26. I'm talking fourteen plates of sushi here, three people fed. In America you would spend that much on a roll or two. So to recap, TIL in Japan, pizza = expensive, sushi = cheap.

So I'm in Tokyo, just hanging out with a friend, and I get hungry and think, "Why not order a pizza?"

We hit up the Dominoes website of all places. Yes, Dominoes. I always feel bad when I 'waste' my time in Tokyo on Western businesses. But fear not, because the pizzas are way different, and we wound up buying a "Cheese Melt Bolognese" pizza. With a side of chicken drumsticks. Remember that in Japan there's no tipping, and delivery costs are included. But still, we're talking about one large pizza with a side.

Say it with me, "That pizza's worth WHAT?!"

4,670 yen! In today's dollars = $60.75! Good god man, Tokyo is going to put me in the poor house. First beer, now pizza. How in the hell can food be so expensive?

I know food is expensive because Japan is an island and imports from the mainland, but let's not forget the Federal Reserve devaluing our currency against foreign markets via inflation.

Happy New Year! Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow, how great a New Year feels, when you get it fresh on this side of the International Date Line. It's like getting licked unconscious by Victoria's Secret models. Oh, Western World, how I wish you knew what you're missing--you only thought your New Year was new, but by the time you get it, it's really been around the block!

I was having dinner with the neighbors when they tried to make conversation. They said, "The most popular dog name in Japan is: poochie. The most popular cat name is: tama (balls). What are the most popular cat and dog names in America?"

I thought about it for a bit too long. What is a popular pet name? Nothing came to mind, except, "Blue. A popular dog's name is: Blue. I don't know about cats." In truth, I only know of two Blues. The first is Blue's Clues. The second, from a quote in a Stephen King novel I read years ago.

...I'm telling you so you'll know
Old Blue's gone where the good dogs go.

I remembered asking my parents about why the dog was named Blue and they told me it was a popular name. Then, just the other day, watching Our Idiot Brother, a dog named Blue was referenced in one of the songs.

Which begs the question: anybody know a popular cat name? Or is there none?

So I went out for a big night in Tokyo. Ikebukuro, to be exact. And where do my friends tell me to meet them? TGI Fridays. I came all the way from America to meet them in a TGI Friday's and order a corona.

Then I got the bill and nearly had a heart attack. The corona cost 798 yen! In my head, I roughly calculated it to be a TEN DOLLAR BEER! Indeed, with the current exchange rate the cost of the corona, alone, was $10.25.

The five Heinekins? $51.25 in US dollars.

Needless to say, I don't plan on going to TGI Friday's in Tokyo anymore. Nor do I particularly want to order coronas.

So lucky me, I'm in Japan for the release of the new Sony Play Station Vita, or PSVITA. I went down to the local Kojima to buy one, but they didn't have any. Then I rode my bike over to the Yamada denki, and sure enough they were in stock. Would you like me to buy one for you? If so, contact me using the name "maulakai" at gmail. Or the same name on twitter. I'm easy ;)

I just had a Jehovah's Witness ring my doorbell. Again. It's amazing, how far reaching their recruitment goes.

Remember Japanese door bells are far superior to their American counter parts. When someone pushes the button outside, a camera turns on and shows me on a monitor inside who is there. If I wish, I can push a button and talk to the person. They can't see me.

Usually, to get rid of the usual door-to-door guys, I speak English. This turns away a good 99% of Japanese. But this Jehovah's Witness spoke English! He wasn't deterred!

I had to do the unthinkable--tell him "No thank you," and push the button again to turn off the camera and speaker. FML!